A lot of brides think they should lose a few pounds or tone up their muscles before their weddings.   While I’m all for adopting a healthy lifestyle, there are right ways and wrong ways to go about this task,

Do:

• Start early. Don’t wait until 2 weeks before the wedding to try to lose 20 pounds.
• Set realistic goals.  If you are a size 20, chances are you won’t be a size 2 in 6 months.
• Consider meeting with a nutritionist and personal trainer.  These experts can help you determine proper diet and exercise routines based on your height, weight and body type.
• Use the buddy system.  Find a friend (or all of your bridesmaids, perhaps?) to share your workout routine and diet plan with.  Or, look for a bridal boot camp to work out with other brides to be!
• Reward yourself.  Sticking to your weight loss plan is great, but having fun is important too! Treat yourself to ice cream on date night, or skip the gym and go for a long walk with your fiance on the beach.

Don’t:

• Buy a dress that is way too small.  Even if you are dedicated to losing weight, things happen.  It’s always easier to take a dress in than to let one out!
• Try a new diet every week.  Talk to a professional when you get started, and stick to a steady plan.
• Not eat.  Fasting makes you more irritable, tired, and less able to deal with stress.
• Eat too little.  Just like fasting, cutting your calorie count too much can be dangerous.  A bride in England even died of heart failure from eating a measly 530 calories for 11 weeks.  It’s just not worth it!
• Focus on the wedding day.  Make lifestyle changes so that you will be healthier all around!  Married couples tend to gain weight at a faster rate than their single peers.

If you look at any wedding professional’s website, you are likely to see some type of award they have won.  Which is great! But before you use that solely as your decision-making factor, take a look at that award and see how it was earned.

• Brides voting:  These awards are usually reputable.  The Knot has awards, Wedding Wire has awards, and many other well-known wedding sites have awards.  But also remember that anyone can register as a “bride” and vote, so there is still a slight chance of not-so-honest results.
• Industry peers or associations:  These awards mean the most to me.  They show that not only do your clients love you, your fellow professionals do too.  The field is often limited, and judging is usually done by well-known folks in the industry.
• Paid “awards”: Yes, they are out there.  ”Send us $100 for your plaque…”  I don’t think I really need to explain this one!

I was honored to be nominated for one of the National Association of Catering Executives’ Best Wedding Reception of the Year awards.  NACE has a very lengthly submission process, and from those submissions, only a handful make it through to actual nominations.  This year’s awards were held at the NACE Experience! 2010 conference in July, and while I didn’t win, it was such an honor just to be a nominee.  I even got to wear a little sticker on my name badge that said “Award Nominee!”  Out of 600 conference attendees and over 4,000 members, it was so special to be in such an elite group.

As you are interviewing prospective vendors, please be sure to ask questions!  Not only about awards, but also certifications, education, and associations.

The days of the “cookie-cutter” wedding are long gone – but how do you find just the right look for your big day?

• Start with something meaningful to you.  Did you get engaged in Italy?  Do you have a hobby that you both love? Start by incorporating touches that reflect your life together as a couple.
• Before you send  save-the-dates, create a monogram, motif or other design that you can incorporate into all of your printed materials.  Just remember, your monogram should not include you new last name initial until after the wedding.
• Work with your cake baker to create a custom design that reflects the look of the reception.  Your cake is an important focal point for your wedding (and especially your photos!) so don’t skimp here!
• Tie your reception menu in with your theme.  Or, incorporate your favorite foods or family recipes!  Most chefs are willing to discuss custom options, all you have to do is ask.
• Don’t forget to add tablecloths, chair covers, and other decor to match the overall look!

(image above by Ten23Designs)

It’s easy to get stressed out, even if you aren’t planning a wedding. Here are some quick and easy ways to reduce stress in your every-day life:

• Get out of the office on your lunch break, and take a walk.  If your job requires you to sit in front of a computer all day, take several breaks during the day to stretch.
• Even if you can’t leave the office for lunch, don’t eat lunch at your desk.
• Exercise regularly – even a game of catch with a friend or a walk with your dog will help clear your mind.
• Allow extra time to get to appointments – plan to arrive 15 minutes early, in case there is traffic, road closures, or you get lost.  You should still arrive on time without being stressed!
• Don’t be afraid to ask questions or ask for help.  Keeping things bottled up won’t solve a problem.
• When you are feeling stressed about something, ask yourself, “Is this really important?” or “Will this matter a year from now?”
• Do something creative.  Doodle on a notepad, paint a picture, write a poem – anything different from your ordinary daily tasks.

I read this yesterday on Preston Bailey’s blog, and I have been thinking about it ever since.  I just love it, and had to share it here:

Frequently Asked Questions: Do I really need a planner for my event?
By Preston Bailey, 4/6/10

Let me ask you this: do you need a doctor to deliver your baby? Or would you prefer doing it yourself? Okay, that is a bit of an exaggeration but you get what I’m saying…

If you are giving a small, intimate party, have lots of time and you enjoy entertaining then no, you do not need a planner. However, having a large event (at times) is similar to producing a play or show and this requires time and experience to produce.

I have interviewed more than one client who has mentioned that hotel or location managers often insist they don’t need a planner–well, these folks are wrong. There is a lot that happens before the day of the event that needs to be managed.

Now comes the bad news: there are great planners and then there are the planners who give the business a bad name. Being also a part of the planning industry, I have had the joy and pain in working with both good and bad. Here is my humble opinion on how you can tell the difference:

Good planners: They make the process as easy and painless as possible, respecting the client’s time and level of involvement.
vs.
Bad planners: They think they are the show. They create drama were there should be none. They over-involve the client, and they need lots of attention.

Good planners: They give their clients realistic budget expectations, telling them what things really cost.
vs.
Bad planners: They unrealistically promise clients they’ll get quality for less and drive all the vendors crazy asking them to lower their prices.

Good planners: They get their normal fee from their clients and they do not accept commissions from vendors, which puts them in a better position to negotiate.
vs.
Bad planners: They collect a fee from clients and also quietly blackmail vendors into paying them commissions. (For example, they say something like, “If you don’t pay me a commission, I won’t use you or your services.”)

Good Planners: They are very open to creativity, yet respectful of the vendors and artists they work with.
vs.
Bad planners: They are frustrated designers and seem to think they know what is best for the design. (Though, to be fair, they have seen a lot of designs, which gives them the right to have an opinion.)

So yes, I do think having a good planner is a very essential component to having a successful event. I have often found myself explaining this (and why) to my clients. What do you think?

(be sure to visit the links above to read comments regarding this article)

I know: half of you are reading this saying, “what’s a first look?”

More and more frequently, brides and grooms are seeing each other before the wedding ceremony, even if their religion doesn’t dictate doing so.  It takes the pressure off, and allows a lot more time for photos.   Plus this leaves time for the bride and groom to enjoy cocktail hour with their guests!

If you plan to see each other before the ceremony, ask your photographer and videographer about staging a First Look.  We’ve been doing this for several years now, and it just gets better and better! Here are some tips for getting great photos and videos:

• Choose a great location for your first look.  It should be interesting but private.
• Ask your bridal party to wait in the distance so that you two can have a few private moments together.
• Be prepared to cry – both of you.  Have tissues handy!
• Be sure to talk to your wedding pros in advance.  They may have ideas for locations at your venue that will look great.

It’s not a topic that any couple wants to think about.  But, some weddings do need to be postponed for one reason or another – military service, family illness, and finances, just to name a few.  If you find yourself in a situation where the wedding must be re-scheduled, here are some tips:

• Let your guests know as soon as possible, so that they can change or cancel travel arrangements with the least amount of penalties.  If invitations have not been mailed but the date has been announced, send a simple card explaining that the date has changed.  If invitations have gone out, the guests will need to be notified by phone.  Depending on the situation, you may want to enlist the help of family or close friends to make the calls.
• Ask your vendors if your deposits can be transferred to your new wedding date.  Even is you don’t have a new date just yet, they may agree to apply the deposit if you re-book within a certain period of time.
• If you can’t re-book a vendor, ask if there is something else you can get for that money.  For example, if your reception was scheduled at a country club, see if you can get a club membership, or host another family event there instead.
• All couples should look into wedding insurance.  It can cover fees, deposits, etc. in case of a last-minute cancellation due to illness or death in the immediate family, as well as severe weather or major transportation shutdown.