The days of the “cookie-cutter” wedding are long gone – but how do you find just the right look for your big day?

• Start with something meaningful to you.  Did you get engaged in Italy?  Do you have a hobby that you both love? Start by incorporating touches that reflect your life together as a couple.
• Before you send  save-the-dates, create a monogram, motif or other design that you can incorporate into all of your printed materials.  Just remember, your monogram should not include you new last name initial until after the wedding.
• Work with your cake baker to create a custom design that reflects the look of the reception.  Your cake is an important focal point for your wedding (and especially your photos!) so don’t skimp here!
• Tie your reception menu in with your theme.  Or, incorporate your favorite foods or family recipes!  Most chefs are willing to discuss custom options, all you have to do is ask.
• Don’t forget to add tablecloths, chair covers, and other decor to match the overall look!

(image above by Ten23Designs)

• Get out of the office on your lunch break, and take a walk.  If your job requires you to sit in front of a computer all day, take several breaks during the day to stretch.
• Even if you can’t leave the office for lunch, don’t eat lunch at your desk.
• Exercise regularly – even a game of catch with a friend or a walk with your dog will help clear your mind.
• Allow extra time to get to appointments – plan to arrive 15 minutes early, in case there is traffic, road closures, or you get lost.  You should still arrive on time without being stressed!
• Don’t be afraid to ask questions or ask for help.  Keeping things bottled up won’t solve a problem.
• When you are feeling stressed about something, ask yourself, “Is this really important?” or “Will this matter a year from now?”
• Do something creative.  Doodle on a notepad, paint a picture, write a poem – anything different from your ordinary daily tasks.

Frequently Asked Questions: Do I really need a planner for my event?
By Preston Bailey, 4/6/10

Let me ask you this: do you need a doctor to deliver your baby? Or would you prefer doing it yourself? Okay, that is a bit of an exaggeration but you get what I’m saying…

If you are giving a small, intimate party, have lots of time and you enjoy entertaining then no, you do not need a planner. However, having a large event (at times) is similar to producing a play or show and this requires time and experience to produce.

I have interviewed more than one client who has mentioned that hotel or location managers often insist they don’t need a planner–well, these folks are wrong. There is a lot that happens before the day of the event that needs to be managed.

Now comes the bad news: there are great planners and then there are the planners who give the business a bad name. Being also a part of the planning industry, I have had the joy and pain in working with both good and bad. Here is my humble opinion on how you can tell the difference:

Good planners: They make the process as easy and painless as possible, respecting the client’s time and level of involvement.
vs.
Bad planners: They think they are the show. They create drama were there should be none. They over-involve the client, and they need lots of attention.

Good planners: They give their clients realistic budget expectations, telling them what things really cost.
vs.
Bad planners: They unrealistically promise clients they’ll get quality for less and drive all the vendors crazy asking them to lower their prices.

Good planners: They get their normal fee from their clients and they do not accept commissions from vendors, which puts them in a better position to negotiate.
vs.
Bad planners: They collect a fee from clients and also quietly blackmail vendors into paying them commissions. (For example, they say something like, “If you don’t pay me a commission, I won’t use you or your services.”)

Good Planners: They are very open to creativity, yet respectful of the vendors and artists they work with.
vs.
Bad planners: They are frustrated designers and seem to think they know what is best for the design. (Though, to be fair, they have seen a lot of designs, which gives them the right to have an opinion.)

So yes, I do think having a good planner is a very essential component to having a successful event. I have often found myself explaining this (and why) to my clients. What do you think?

(be sure to visit the links above to read comments regarding this article)

More and more frequently, brides and grooms are seeing each other before the wedding ceremony, even if their religion doesn’t dictate doing so.  It takes the pressure off, and allows a lot more time for photos.   Plus this leaves time for the bride and groom to enjoy cocktail hour with their guests!

If you plan to see each other before the ceremony, ask your photographer and videographer about staging a First Look.  We’ve been doing this for several years now, and it just gets better and better! Here are some tips for getting great photos and videos:

• Choose a great location for your first look.  It should be interesting but private.
• Ask your bridal party to wait in the distance so that you two can have a few private moments together.
• Be prepared to cry – both of you.  Have tissues handy!
• Be sure to talk to your wedding pros in advance.  They may have ideas for locations at your venue that will look great.

• Let your guests know as soon as possible, so that they can change or cancel travel arrangements with the least amount of penalties.  If invitations have not been mailed but the date has been announced, send a simple card explaining that the date has changed.  If invitations have gone out, the guests will need to be notified by phone.  Depending on the situation, you may want to enlist the help of family or close friends to make the calls.
• Ask your vendors if your deposits can be transferred to your new wedding date.  Even is you don’t have a new date just yet, they may agree to apply the deposit if you re-book within a certain period of time.
• If you can’t re-book a vendor, ask if there is something else you can get for that money.  For example, if your reception was scheduled at a country club, see if you can get a club membership, or host another family event there instead.
• All couples should look into wedding insurance.  It can cover fees, deposits, etc. in case of a last-minute cancellation due to illness or death in the immediate family, as well as severe weather or major transportation shutdown.

If you are in the market for a wedding gown, you may have seen invitations to trunk shows.  And you may be wondering, what is a trunk show, and should I go to one?

A trunk show is typically one or two days, where the designer or their representative travels to a bridal salon to showcase their new line.  Most salons have limited space for display and may not be able to have an entire line on hand – this gives you a chance to see more variety from a designer.

• Make an appointment! Time slots usually fill up fast.
• Talk to the designer or their rep about changes you’d like made to the dress – they should be able to easily tell you what will work and what won’t.
• Ask about discounts.  There may be special incentives for ordering at the trunk show, or you might get those little changes (adding length, changing the neckline, etc.) thrown in for free.

Our friends at Sharon Batten are having a Ramona Keveza trunk show this weekend.  Call the shop at (904) 285-4544 for more details.

• Road Trip! It doesn’t have to be a trip to Vegas, a la The Hangover, but why not take a little weekend getaway with your pals?  Relax at a spa or on a beach; be adventurous and go mountain climbing or whitewater rafting; or spend a weekend shopping in another city!
• Make Something! Consider a night at a pottery-painting studio, where all the girls can paint something special for the bride.  Many shops allow you to bring in food and drinks, but ask ahead of time.  Are you scrapbookers?  Spend a night (or weekend) creating pages to fill with wedding photos.
• Have an Old-Fashioned Sleepover! Re-live your junior high school days with your best gals.  Rent movies, eat fattening food, talk about boys – so much fun!

A “bachelorette party” can really be anything that the bride and her friends enjoy doing together!

• What type of equipment do you use? Is it professional-grade?  It’s not important to get into too many specifics here, but the thing you want to know about is resolution and print size.  If a photographer is using a camera from Best Buy, the resolution may not be high enough to create the wall-size portrait that you want.
• What is your backup procedure?  Most pros will “dump” their media cards (usually similar to what is in your point-and-shoot digital camera) as soon as the wedding is over and back everything up to CD or DVD.  But what happens from there?  Is there an external hard drive backup?  Does a copy get stored off-site in case of fire, theft or other damage at the studio?
• Also regarding backups, how long are your images stored?  I was recently at an industry event where Master Photographer Susan Michal was addressing this issue – she has backups for every wedding she has ever shot.  This might seem extreme now, but what happens if your house burns down in five years?  Wouldn’t it be great to know you can turn to your photographer to still have your wedding images?
• How many images are edited?  If your photographer gives you a CD or DVD as part of your package, find out if these images are edited for color correction, etc.
• Can I see images from an entire wedding?  Often a photographer might show you an album with one or two of the best images from several weddings – ask to log in to their online proofing website to see a full wedding.
• What are your emergency procedures?  Do you have backup equipment?  Do you bring it with you?  What if something happens to you on the wedding day, can you send another photographer?

Saturday’s forecast called for a high in the low to mid 50’s… a 20-degree drop from our average this time of year!  Luckily, we had planned well in advance to not only have a tent but also heaters.  About a month before the wedding, we even added the side walls for the tent to keep the heat inside the tent better.

On Saturday morning, I arrived at the site, and not only was it in the high 40s, but it was raining.  No worries though! Our tent was warm and dry and looking beautiful.  And by the time the ceremony was over, the sun was even making a guest appearance.

Here are some things to think about if you have a non-traditional venue:

• Do you have adequate restroom facilities?
• What will happen if there is inclement weather? Don’t just think about temperature or rain – what about high winds?
• What is the cancellation policy if you don’t need the tent/heater/etc.?
• What is the ground like – is it even? If it rains, will it be soggy?
• Where will your vendors load in?
• Is there enough parking for your guests?

If you are thinking of hiring a planner/coordinator, be sure they have worked with this type of venue before! There are lots of little things to think about, and you don’t want to realize you need to think about them when it’s too late.

Well, not always.

Let’s say you decide to hire a “wedding in a box” company.  There are two options: 1) they really are doing everything themselves,  or 2) they are outsourcing everything.  If they do everything themselves, ask yourself, do you want to work with someone who does one thing well or five things just adequately?

If they are outsourcing, then chances are they are not only collecting a fee from you for their services, but they are also adding on a percentage to the other vendors’ fees.  Some companies even charge their vendors a percentage of their fee, meaning the same DJ could quote you $1,000 but you end up paying $1,100 because they tack on a fee that they have to pay the “planner.”

You may decide that it is worth paying a little extra to have someone handle every detail for you – great, not a problem.  However, what happens if your “planner” isn’t getting your vision, or you have a disagreement that makes you uncomfortable?  Now you have a problem. If you fire your “planner,” you lose everything – your venue, your rentals, your flowers, your catering, your cake.

Or worse, what if the company you hire suddenly disappears?  Unfortunately, it has happened here in Jacksonville too often.  The “planner” says he or she will take care of everything, the client writes a check, and then as the wedding day approaches the “planner” will not return  phone calls.  And since you met them at a Starbucks, you have no idea what their physical address is.

This post isn’t meant to scare you, and all companies offering multiple services aren’t bad.  Just remember, as with any vendor, ask for references, check Better Business Bureau reports, and get referrals from others you trust.  As my grandmother used to say, “If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is!”